Suburban Reviews

When they say motherhood changes everything, they aren’t kidding. They mean business. And today, I’m going to talk about the change in the vagina business. Man, does motherhood change THAT or what?

I remember when I had my first period after having a baby and suddenly my favorite tampon fell out of favor. Perhaps my innards are a lot lower now than before having kids because placement of the tampon was an issue. And the leaks I had. Oh the leaks! Gesh. And the 7+ day periods, what a fun way to spend a week.

Then one day I stumbled upon The Secret that changed my period forever..

The Diva Cup

Ever since that fateful day 3 years ago, my vuh jay jay has been living the life of a Diva and we have no intentions of singing another tune for quite a while.

Oh dear Diva, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

#1 You took me from a 7+ day period to a 3 day period.

#2 I only have to deal with your every 12 hours for those 3 days.

#3 You don’t turn my vuh jay jay into the Sahara desert like those tampons did.

‘Nuff said.

In preparing for this review, I was curious what other’s reaction would be to such a device and needless to say, it wasn’t what I would call positive. There were several “ewws”, a “yuck” or two and even a “wtf”. I hope I can clear up some of the confusion over the Diva Cup, so let’s take a look at a few of the questions I received.

“How Does It Work?”

The Diva Cup operates on the K.I.S.S. philosophy.

Fold cup and insert. Give it a twist so it opens up. Come back 12 hours later. Remove. Dump in toilet. Wash with soap. Repeat.

On to other concerns….

Comfort

“Can you feel it?”

No, I don’t even know it’s there. I sometimes forget I’m on my period.

“What about suction?”

Relax. You won’t experience anything like this.

It’s more of a seal than a suction. It’s a menstrual cup, not a Hoover. The seal prevents the leakage. If need be, gently press on the side to facilitate removal.

“Will it get stuck?”

Let me reassure you that you are flattering yourself and your vuh jay jay that I’ve never had it to get stuck. Come on, I’ve given birth. Nothing will get stuck up there ever again. And even if you haven’t given birth, I highly doubt it could get stuck.

The Mess & Gross Factor

I’ll ease the fears that you may be subjecting yourself to some type of blood bath by using this. The Diva Cup is no messier than a tampon. And while I have gotten some blood on my fingers from time to time, they’ve yet to rot off from contamination. Soap is a marvelous thing.

“Is there spillage?”

I suppose if you’re really clumsy? Do you mean leakage? Every now and then I have leaked a bit but nothing that a panty liner can’t handle. We’re talking spotting instead of leaking. I had a lot more leaks with tampons and I tried all sorts of brands to find one that wouldn’t.

“Is it smelly?”

While I’m not wafting the freshly removed cup beneath my nose to get a true measure of smell, I think I can safely say there is no smell. A period smell usually comes from a pad where the blood has oxidized with the air….or you have an infection on up in there and in that case, you should see your gyno.

“Isn’t it gross because it isn’t disposable?”
There again, soap is a marvelous thing. Didn’t you know that your mouth has more germs and bacteria than your vagina and you certainly don’t think twice about sticking your fingers in your mouth. And speaking of hands, those aren’t exactly disposable either….or sanitary. The butts you wipe with them, the boogers you pick, the gunk that gets under manicured nails. Eww! Soap, I’m telling ya, soap! Besides, the cup is actually more sanitary that tampons. Check out the Diva Cup website and the Q&A section for details.There may be some collective consciousness at work here and we mistakenly think we’re dirty down there. Perhaps that is where the “eww” is coming from. Or perhaps some just have a problem with blood. Either way, if those are mental hang ups you can’t work through then this product isn’t for you.

But, if you’re a more embrace-the-change kind of person then I highly recommend it and why wouldn’t I? It’s easy, hypoallergenic, little to no leaks, comfy, no smell, not to mention the little bit of help we’re giving the environment, and I’ve heard other women say their periods became shorter after using the product too.

I love the Diva Cup!

New here? Subscribe to the RSS to get info on all the latest products straight to your feed reader!RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

The following is a love letter to my beloved non-alcoholic drink of choice. 

Dear Izze,

Every day that passes and we’re not together feels like an eternity.  You are not always easy to find, only being sold at select markets and a few restaurants in this area.  I would gladly come and find you at Starbucks, Target, Whole Foods, Wild Oats, or Fresh Market.  Anywhere, darling.

I yearn for you and your deliciousness each day.  You come in so many delectable flavors, it is hard to choose between all of you.  I love your Pomegranate, Clementine, and Pear flavors.  I eagerly anticipate meeting Apple, Blueberry, Blackberry, Lemon, and Grapefruit.  Each is refreshing, with no sugar, caffeine, or anything artificial added.  If I weren’t so selfish in my love for you, I could share you with my son.  But alas, I am selfish and wish to have you all to myself.  Every last drop.

I wish you were sold by the case, but sadly you come in four-pack bottles.   You also are sold by the bottle, for when I just want to be alone with one of you.   Although you sell for approximately $4 for a four-pack, it’s worth every penny to have you be mine.

I love you Izze.  I love you.

Your adoring fan,
Jennifer

To get your own Izze, you can click this link to find a retailer of in your area.

I bought the conditioner today.

*Sigh*

All your fault guys, all your fault!

Mountain Dew Baja Blast has got to be PepsiCo’s best kept secret. Released in August of 2004, it has only been available in Taco Bell restaurants. I only just heard of this stuff 2 WEEKS ago! Seriously, what rock have I been under?? Oh, that’s right. Motherhood, I forgot. We don’t get out much down here.

I decided to get Taco Bell for dinner, so I finally picked up a cup of this mysterious flavor. I have to say, I had high hopes. My last experiment with a new Pepsi product was less than thrilling, so surely this would be better. My husband is a big Mountain Dew fan, and while I’ll drink it in a pinch, it’s not my favorite. I thought maybe this would change things and unite us on the soda front- same brand, different flavor and all that.

I should have suspected something when I noticed this ‘tropical lime and pineapple flavored’ Dew was a bright blue color. I don’t know about you, but I’ve yet to meet a lime, pineapple, or any other fruit that was sky blue. Given that lime juice and Mountain Dew are both a yellowy green, I do believe someone in that department was on crack the day this product was conceived. One taste and that theory was confirmed. Imagine berry blue koolaid mixed with Mountain Dew and you’ll about have the idea. Words cannot describe how nasty this stuff is.

To continue the crack-headedness, they are actually about to launch Baja Blast at retailers nation-wide in the 20oz. bottles. I don’t need my crystal ball to know that this product is going to tank as fast as the Summer Mix will.

Note to PepsiCo- Just Say No to Drugs.

Note to readers- Just Say No to Baja Blast.

Due to lack of fundage, babysitters, and other crucial aspects of trip-taking, the Queen, the Groupie, and the Oblivious One will not be attending BlogHer 2007. Having seen pictures of famous and not-so-famous female bloggers carousing into the wee hours of the night at previous BlogHer conferences, we are crying like spoiled children saying it’s just not meant to be, and finding more local ways to amuse ourselves. When we were asked to review a couple of Metamucil products, we took them up on it in a heartbeat. Anyone can tell you how well a detergent works, it takes a special kind to make fiber interesting, and Suburban Reviews is always up for such a challenge! So in lieu of a blogging conference,

Wecome to FibeHer 2007!

We were given two products to review, Metamucil Berry Burst, and Fibersure. The Berry Burst is like a traditional fiber drink, but with a fruit flavoring. The Fibersure is a fine powder you can either take in water, or mix into other foods and supposedly you won’t even know it’s there.

Before we got together, we each tried the Berry Burst out of sheer curiosity. Heather disliked the thick, gritty texture, but did admit the taste wasn’t completely unpalatable. Jen thought the taste wasn’t that bad, but says she feels it would be considerably better colder, say served over ice, and preferably with a splash of vodka. Jennifer’s husband actually liked it, but since he is a health nut and carb-nazi, we are not considering him a real human being and thus his opinion was null and void.

There had to be a way to make this stuff a little more tempting, and what are moms if not resourceful? So we got creative and mixed the Berry Burst fiber with some berry flavored jello and made as per box instructions. What did everyone think of it?

It wasn’t a total wash, as we know alcohol makes everything better, we decided if you made a Jello shot with it, after awhile you don’t notice the taste at all.

In fact after 3 or 4 it starts looking pretty darn good!

Finally we tried the Fibersure. Heather has been testing this in her coffee this week, and says it mixes well enough with hot beverages that you don’t notice it at all. We tried it here with applesauce, and found only the slightest difference in texture. The overall opinion was you wouldn’t even notice it if you didn’t already know it was there!

Baking with it, mixing it into yogurt, using it to get revenge on a spouse who has pissed you off making sure your sweetie gets his fiber, the possibilities are endless!

While we were not fans of the Metamucil Berry Burst(unless the Jello shots count!), the Fibersure by far exceeded our expectations and we heartily recommend it. You can find this awesome new favorite at any local drugstore or discount store for $6.99. They have are currently giving away free samples on the Fibersure website, so be sure to try it and let us know what you think!

I was really excited to get the chance to check out the Rolling Stone’s 4 dvd concert set, The Biggest Bang for one reason- I know NOTHING about the Rolling Stones.

Are you shocked?

I am 28, and to me the Rolling Stones were music of my parents generation, therefore to be avoided at all costs. I was too busy listening to the deep and meaningful music of the 90’s. *snort* As I have gotten older I have grown to appreciate older music a bit more, although a lot of the 70’s music still should be used as the poster child for reasons to just say no to drugs.

Somehow during all this growth and maturing *double snort* I have managed to overlook the Stones, likely to due an aversion to Mick Jagger’s jawline. I realize he’s rich, I realize he’s famous, and I realize a million and one women would sleep with him in a heartbeat, but he is one scary looking dude.

As I soon discovered, the visuals are quickly forgotten when you see the Stones on stage. I’ve only been to a few concerts in my life, and none of them could hold a candle to even one of the five venues featured in The Biggest Bang. They know how to rock, there’s no question about that. No band could have the long-standing career they have without a huge dose of talent. What surprised me most was how well they play to a crowd. As in writing, a live singer has to be able to relate to their audience on a personal level, and to watch them do this is pure magic. Watching the dvd was the closest thing to being there, and even as a brand-new Rolling Stones fan, I wish I could have been there, particularly the Copacabana Beach show. Talk about a huge crowd!!! You know the people who were there will talk about it forever.

My favorite part of the set was by far the tour documentary. As a ‘regular person’, there is so much you don’t get to see that goes into setting up these shows. The travel, the technical side, and the emotional roller coaster of living your life on the road and in the public eye. You come away with a feeling of knowing so much more about it, yet realizing how much you don’t know at all. Totally surreal.

The Biggest Bang is a great gift for the concert lover, Stones fan, or music aficionado in your life. It is sold exclusively through Best Buy for a surprisingly reasonable price of $29.99 for the 4 dvd set. Perfect for a late Father’s Day gift, birthday present, or anniversary gift for all those June brides and their counterparts.

Just don’t look at Jagger’s jawline and it’s all good.

I am 28, and seem to be going through a mid-life crisis of the mane. I’m just not happy with what I’ve got anymore, and find myself looking at other women’s hair with envy, wishing my own could be as shiny and soft. I’ve tried seeing a professional for my problem, and she was great, but the cost of the cut and highlights was a little more than my budget allows for right now. With recoloring out of my reach, I’ve focused on just getting myself properly conditioned, and my last experiment was a failure. And my old standby conditioner, Pantene? I admit it, I’m bored with it. It’s just not satisfying me like it used to. The 7 year itch has kicked in 5 years early.

I am not trying to excuse my actions, but I just thought I should explain why it happened. With my self-esteem so low, and my conditioner giving me so little, surely you can understand why I was tempted to stray?

It wouldn’t have even happened if that damn stylist hadn’t introduced us. I was in the chair minding my own business, and she started rubbing something into my hair, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The Smell. Oh my gosh, the smell. Like the smell of a good cologne can knock a woman senseless, this conditioner left my pulse racing and my mouth dry, and it was all I could do to stutter out the question. What is that??? She tells me-

Healthy Sexy Hair Pumpkin Potion Leave In Conditioner by Sexy Hair Concepts

As she massaged this stuff into my hair, the comb began to glide through effortlessly, and I was immersed in the smell of pumpkin and spices. It immediately put me at ease, and I felt as though we’d known each other forever. I wanted her to use more, but it was to be just the briefest of encounters, and she put the bottle away. As my hair dried, the smell remained, and my hair was left softer than I’ve felt it in ages. Ahhhhh, satisfaction.

2 hours later I still am wrapped in the smell, and cannot get it out of my head. I want to go back. I am telling myself the $17 price tag is too high, it’s not worth starting a relationship I am in no shape to continue. It’s only sold in salons, so obviously we are worlds apart, and there’s just no way it could work between us. Yet I find myself thinking, next Friday is payday, and I could steal away briefly, and just this once indulge myself. I am a woman, and I have needs! But is it really worth it? Should I take the plunge? Will I hate myself in the morning for even considering this?

Really, what would you do?

For any of you who follow my blog, you have been made all too aware of my breast troubles since giving birth. I’ve moaned about their size, the bleeding nipples, and the leaking breastmilk. Due to this milk flow issue, I have been in desperate need of comfortable and absorbent breast pads.

When nursing my first child, I had great success with Gerber brand Ultra Thin Breast Pads. Unfortunately, my local Wal-Mart no longer sells these. Being a fan of the Gerber brand, I decided to try out their Contoured Nursing Pads. To say I’m not a fan of these breast pads is an understatement.

I truly despise these breast pads. Sure, they are absorbent. They are large enough to cover my ample bosoms. They do not contain any plastic, which can delay the healing of tender nips. They also have an adhesive backing for those that like that sort of thing (I, personally am in the no-adhesive camp myself).

The problem? Oh my gawd, they make me itch in the worst kind of way. The pad has this mesh sort of cover over the cotton part which is very itchy. There is some sort of papery backing on the pad, whose edges dig straight into your flesh. Sounds comfortable, huh? Yeah, not so much.

I have most of a box remaining and I’m not sure what to do with them, for I hate to see things go to waste. These pads might possibly work as sponges, cleaning up breast milk spills on the couch. Maybe I could use them as my fancy coasters when I have guests over. I suppose it is possible that they could be used as a yamaka, however we are not Jewish.

Well, at least my $5.27 for the 36 count box won’t go to complete waste. These itchy pads can be purchased at most discount stores and Babies ‘R Us.

When it comes to this mom gig, I admit I don’t know very much. I fly by the seat of my pants 9 times out of 10. However, there is one thing in this parenting game I do know and that is how to wipe some butt.

I’ve been wiping butt for about 30 years now and I know a thing or two. Not only have I been wiping my own butt, but add in two more rears to my wiping accomplishments and I got the butt wiping smarts real good.

In my days of diapering the two rears of my sons, the art of butt wiping was a no brainer because they had these great things called baby wipes. But when we entered the stage of potty training, I was confused over how I was suppose to get their butt clean with dry toilet paper. I mean, I could actually see the residual poo left from the TP and oh my god. I can’t even visually go there with my own butt and 30 plus years of wiping with TP. G.R.O.S.S.

I had to find another way and thus began my road of becoming a flushable butt wipe connoisseur. I’m here to share my knowledge in the fine art of flushable butt wipes with you.

I chose 5 different brands of flushable butt wipes to review: Cottonelle, Charmin, Scott, Equate, and Target brand. Pampers and Huggies also sell a flushable variation of butt wipes, but I figured I gave enough money to their company while diapering and I would share my butt-wiping product love with others now. I’ve found three areas of importance when it comes to butt wipes and I’ll be reviewing the coverage, tear-ability and price.

Let’s start with coverage. You’ll see below I laid out all of the wipes to give you an idea of who has you covered and who doesn’t.

Those are, in order, Cottonelle Kids, Charmin Fresh Wipes, Scott, Equate, and Target. As you can see, the Scott and Equate brand come up short, while the remaining three brands, Cottonelle, Charmin, and Target are longer.

Of course, whether length is important is entirely subjective. It depends on if you are a folding person or a wipe-and-flick person. It’s a personal butt wiping style really. If you’re the type of butt wiping person who takes one swipe and then flicks it into the toilet with the tip of your fingers, well who cares about the length because you aren’t folding anyway. But if you’re one who likes to get the most of out a wipe and will fold over to re-wipe, then length is something to consider.

There is also a second consideration to give in regards to length. If your kids are finally wiping all alone (omg, what is that world like?) then I think the shorter ones are just fine. If your kids are like my oldest, who does the wipe-and-flick because, while I’m suppose to wipe his butt with no qualms, wiping his own butt and possibly getting his own poo on his hand is right up there with a HAZMAT chemical spill. Gesh. So he’s a wipe-and-flick kind of guy. Folding length is not important.

It’s up to you whether coverage is a factor in choosing a flushable butt wipe.

Let’s move on to tear-ability, which is the quality I find most important, regardless of whose butt is being wiped.

There is nothing worse than wiping a little butt only for the wipe to tear and get stuck in the butt. If you have a little butt-clencher who squeezes every time you wipe, then tear-ability is of upmost importance.

I’ll report that the Equate brand is the absolute worst when it comes to tear-ability. Just one tiny tug and that sucker rips. I couldn’t even pull one out of the package without tearing, as you see in the above picture. Not only is it the smallest in length but it tears the easiest too.

The other four brands were all pretty equal in the tear-ability department and I can’t recommend one over the other for that reason alone. The Charmin brand, however, had an extra surprise by how far that wipe would actually stretch before it would tear.

Do you see that? Wow! It must be the “flex-weave” they brag about on the packaging. Unfortunately for Charmin, I don’t think that much stretchability is a factor unless you are wiping buns of steel that also clench during the wipe.

But what about the price?

The price breaks down as follows:

Cottonelle 42 pkg: 1.84 Charmin 40 pkg: 1.89 Scotts: 51 pkg 1.74 Equate 50 pkg: 1.27 Target 42 pkg: 1.19

I could break it down on here, since each package seems to have a different quantity, the price per wipe but yaawwwwwnnnn.

Instead, I did that behind the scene and can say Charmin, while stretching the most for no apparent reason, is the most expensive. Equate is the cheapest but also the poorest quality. While I’m all about saving the most, there has to be a level of value too and Equate does not have it. Of course, you may be really sick in the head and enjoy picking pieces of wipes out of a butt, so if that’s the case then Equate is for you. Otherwise, skip it.

The other three brands would come down to splitting pennies. Cottonelle is a good brand, and when combined with a coupon, is only 50 cents more than a store brand. But can you deal with getting poop on such cute, adorable little puppies like this….

I dunno y’all, it’s a tough call. But I’ve managed to push through it and smear those pups with toddler crap.

The Scott brand is of good quality, just short on coverage for my personal taste but good for the wipe-and-flick style. Again, it is just as cheap as a store brand when combined with a coupon.

Overall, the Target brand is going to get my recommendation. You get good coverage, it doesn’t tear easily and is the lowest price without hassling with a coupon. But for those unlucky readers who do not have Super Targets (bless your heart) then Cottonelle and Scott come in a close second.

There you have it, the word on flushable butt wipes from a butt wiping connoisseur. Now you can claim to have the butt-wiping smarts real good too!

What is it about ‘natural’ products that makes us want to take things we would normally eat and slather them all over our skin and hair? Milk, honey, apples, and oranges all make regular appearances in the shampoo lineup. Grapefruit, avocado, apricot and oatmeal for face masks, peppermint for feet. Fruit salad anyone?

I admit I am just as susceptible to this marketing ploy, and was intrigued when I saw a new conditioner on the shelf  at Winn-Dixie this past week. The Freeman Seakelp Moisture Conditioner label  says it contains sea kelp and guava extracts, and would  “nourish, fortify, and strengthen hair with this nurturing  marine-based mix of  essential vitamins and minerals”.  Sounds promising right?

The first thing I noticed when I poured the conditioner into my hand was how thin it was. Runny would probably be a better word really. I color my hair and have to use moisturizing conditioners,  and most of them tend to be pretty thick. Whether they need to be, or because thats just how they are is anyone’s guess. But this stuff was really, really runny for a conditioner.  It was also a pearly white color and looked just like every other conditioner out there. I know with sea kelp extract I shouldn’t have expected big green leaves or anything, but somehow I expected more than what looked like watered down White Rain.

The next thing was the smell. OMG, the smell. I understand now why they advertised the ’sea kelp’ and ‘marine’ part so heavily. This stuff was VERY salty smelling. I thought sea kelp and guava was a strange combination, I quickly realized the guava was meant to tone down the saltiness.

Despite all this I put it in, let it sit a few minutes and rinsed. I knew as soon as I started towel-drying my hair this was not a success.  You can tell well conditioned hair even when it’s wet, and my hair felt like I hadn’t used anything. It didn’t feel completely dried out later, but it felt like I hadn’t used nearly as much conditioner as usual, and my hair had that slightly frizzy, slightly crunchy feel a good conditioner is meant to combat. It also smelled funky, like I’d spent the day at the beach and threw on a dollar store body spray overtop of it.

If you want to look and smell like you just came off vacation from the beach, this might work for you. For everyday, ehh, not so much. There is a Try Me Free offer on it though, and it can be found at most grocers and discount stores for $3.99.