Suburban Reviews

When they say motherhood changes everything, they aren’t kidding. They mean business. And today, I’m going to talk about the change in the vagina business. Man, does motherhood change THAT or what?

I remember when I had my first period after having a baby and suddenly my favorite tampon fell out of favor. Perhaps my innards are a lot lower now than before having kids because placement of the tampon was an issue. And the leaks I had. Oh the leaks! Gesh. And the 7+ day periods, what a fun way to spend a week.

Then one day I stumbled upon The Secret that changed my period forever..

The Diva Cup

Ever since that fateful day 3 years ago, my vuh jay jay has been living the life of a Diva and we have no intentions of singing another tune for quite a while.

Oh dear Diva, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

#1 You took me from a 7+ day period to a 3 day period.

#2 I only have to deal with your every 12 hours for those 3 days.

#3 You don’t turn my vuh jay jay into the Sahara desert like those tampons did.

‘Nuff said.

In preparing for this review, I was curious what other’s reaction would be to such a device and needless to say, it wasn’t what I would call positive. There were several “ewws”, a “yuck” or two and even a “wtf”. I hope I can clear up some of the confusion over the Diva Cup, so let’s take a look at a few of the questions I received.

“How Does It Work?”

The Diva Cup operates on the K.I.S.S. philosophy.

Fold cup and insert. Give it a twist so it opens up. Come back 12 hours later. Remove. Dump in toilet. Wash with soap. Repeat.

On to other concerns….

Comfort

“Can you feel it?”

No, I don’t even know it’s there. I sometimes forget I’m on my period.

“What about suction?”

Relax. You won’t experience anything like this.

It’s more of a seal than a suction. It’s a menstrual cup, not a Hoover. The seal prevents the leakage. If need be, gently press on the side to facilitate removal.

“Will it get stuck?”

Let me reassure you that you are flattering yourself and your vuh jay jay that I’ve never had it to get stuck. Come on, I’ve given birth. Nothing will get stuck up there ever again. And even if you haven’t given birth, I highly doubt it could get stuck.

The Mess & Gross Factor

I’ll ease the fears that you may be subjecting yourself to some type of blood bath by using this. The Diva Cup is no messier than a tampon. And while I have gotten some blood on my fingers from time to time, they’ve yet to rot off from contamination. Soap is a marvelous thing.

“Is there spillage?”

I suppose if you’re really clumsy? Do you mean leakage? Every now and then I have leaked a bit but nothing that a panty liner can’t handle. We’re talking spotting instead of leaking. I had a lot more leaks with tampons and I tried all sorts of brands to find one that wouldn’t.

“Is it smelly?”

While I’m not wafting the freshly removed cup beneath my nose to get a true measure of smell, I think I can safely say there is no smell. A period smell usually comes from a pad where the blood has oxidized with the air….or you have an infection on up in there and in that case, you should see your gyno.

“Isn’t it gross because it isn’t disposable?”
There again, soap is a marvelous thing. Didn’t you know that your mouth has more germs and bacteria than your vagina and you certainly don’t think twice about sticking your fingers in your mouth. And speaking of hands, those aren’t exactly disposable either….or sanitary. The butts you wipe with them, the boogers you pick, the gunk that gets under manicured nails. Eww! Soap, I’m telling ya, soap! Besides, the cup is actually more sanitary that tampons. Check out the Diva Cup website and the Q&A section for details.There may be some collective consciousness at work here and we mistakenly think we’re dirty down there. Perhaps that is where the “eww” is coming from. Or perhaps some just have a problem with blood. Either way, if those are mental hang ups you can’t work through then this product isn’t for you.

But, if you’re a more embrace-the-change kind of person then I highly recommend it and why wouldn’t I? It’s easy, hypoallergenic, little to no leaks, comfy, no smell, not to mention the little bit of help we’re giving the environment, and I’ve heard other women say their periods became shorter after using the product too.

I love the Diva Cup!

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Due to lack of fundage, babysitters, and other crucial aspects of trip-taking, the Queen, the Groupie, and the Oblivious One will not be attending BlogHer 2007. Having seen pictures of famous and not-so-famous female bloggers carousing into the wee hours of the night at previous BlogHer conferences, we are crying like spoiled children saying it’s just not meant to be, and finding more local ways to amuse ourselves. When we were asked to review a couple of Metamucil products, we took them up on it in a heartbeat. Anyone can tell you how well a detergent works, it takes a special kind to make fiber interesting, and Suburban Reviews is always up for such a challenge! So in lieu of a blogging conference,

Wecome to FibeHer 2007!

We were given two products to review, Metamucil Berry Burst, and Fibersure. The Berry Burst is like a traditional fiber drink, but with a fruit flavoring. The Fibersure is a fine powder you can either take in water, or mix into other foods and supposedly you won’t even know it’s there.

Before we got together, we each tried the Berry Burst out of sheer curiosity. Heather disliked the thick, gritty texture, but did admit the taste wasn’t completely unpalatable. Jen thought the taste wasn’t that bad, but says she feels it would be considerably better colder, say served over ice, and preferably with a splash of vodka. Jennifer’s husband actually liked it, but since he is a health nut and carb-nazi, we are not considering him a real human being and thus his opinion was null and void.

There had to be a way to make this stuff a little more tempting, and what are moms if not resourceful? So we got creative and mixed the Berry Burst fiber with some berry flavored jello and made as per box instructions. What did everyone think of it?

It wasn’t a total wash, as we know alcohol makes everything better, we decided if you made a Jello shot with it, after awhile you don’t notice the taste at all.

In fact after 3 or 4 it starts looking pretty darn good!

Finally we tried the Fibersure. Heather has been testing this in her coffee this week, and says it mixes well enough with hot beverages that you don’t notice it at all. We tried it here with applesauce, and found only the slightest difference in texture. The overall opinion was you wouldn’t even notice it if you didn’t already know it was there!

Baking with it, mixing it into yogurt, using it to get revenge on a spouse who has pissed you off making sure your sweetie gets his fiber, the possibilities are endless!

While we were not fans of the Metamucil Berry Burst(unless the Jello shots count!), the Fibersure by far exceeded our expectations and we heartily recommend it. You can find this awesome new favorite at any local drugstore or discount store for $6.99. They have are currently giving away free samples on the Fibersure website, so be sure to try it and let us know what you think!

When it comes to this mom gig, I admit I don’t know very much. I fly by the seat of my pants 9 times out of 10. However, there is one thing in this parenting game I do know and that is how to wipe some butt.

I’ve been wiping butt for about 30 years now and I know a thing or two. Not only have I been wiping my own butt, but add in two more rears to my wiping accomplishments and I got the butt wiping smarts real good.

In my days of diapering the two rears of my sons, the art of butt wiping was a no brainer because they had these great things called baby wipes. But when we entered the stage of potty training, I was confused over how I was suppose to get their butt clean with dry toilet paper. I mean, I could actually see the residual poo left from the TP and oh my god. I can’t even visually go there with my own butt and 30 plus years of wiping with TP. G.R.O.S.S.

I had to find another way and thus began my road of becoming a flushable butt wipe connoisseur. I’m here to share my knowledge in the fine art of flushable butt wipes with you.

I chose 5 different brands of flushable butt wipes to review: Cottonelle, Charmin, Scott, Equate, and Target brand. Pampers and Huggies also sell a flushable variation of butt wipes, but I figured I gave enough money to their company while diapering and I would share my butt-wiping product love with others now. I’ve found three areas of importance when it comes to butt wipes and I’ll be reviewing the coverage, tear-ability and price.

Let’s start with coverage. You’ll see below I laid out all of the wipes to give you an idea of who has you covered and who doesn’t.

Those are, in order, Cottonelle Kids, Charmin Fresh Wipes, Scott, Equate, and Target. As you can see, the Scott and Equate brand come up short, while the remaining three brands, Cottonelle, Charmin, and Target are longer.

Of course, whether length is important is entirely subjective. It depends on if you are a folding person or a wipe-and-flick person. It’s a personal butt wiping style really. If you’re the type of butt wiping person who takes one swipe and then flicks it into the toilet with the tip of your fingers, well who cares about the length because you aren’t folding anyway. But if you’re one who likes to get the most of out a wipe and will fold over to re-wipe, then length is something to consider.

There is also a second consideration to give in regards to length. If your kids are finally wiping all alone (omg, what is that world like?) then I think the shorter ones are just fine. If your kids are like my oldest, who does the wipe-and-flick because, while I’m suppose to wipe his butt with no qualms, wiping his own butt and possibly getting his own poo on his hand is right up there with a HAZMAT chemical spill. Gesh. So he’s a wipe-and-flick kind of guy. Folding length is not important.

It’s up to you whether coverage is a factor in choosing a flushable butt wipe.

Let’s move on to tear-ability, which is the quality I find most important, regardless of whose butt is being wiped.

There is nothing worse than wiping a little butt only for the wipe to tear and get stuck in the butt. If you have a little butt-clencher who squeezes every time you wipe, then tear-ability is of upmost importance.

I’ll report that the Equate brand is the absolute worst when it comes to tear-ability. Just one tiny tug and that sucker rips. I couldn’t even pull one out of the package without tearing, as you see in the above picture. Not only is it the smallest in length but it tears the easiest too.

The other four brands were all pretty equal in the tear-ability department and I can’t recommend one over the other for that reason alone. The Charmin brand, however, had an extra surprise by how far that wipe would actually stretch before it would tear.

Do you see that? Wow! It must be the “flex-weave” they brag about on the packaging. Unfortunately for Charmin, I don’t think that much stretchability is a factor unless you are wiping buns of steel that also clench during the wipe.

But what about the price?

The price breaks down as follows:

Cottonelle 42 pkg: 1.84 Charmin 40 pkg: 1.89 Scotts: 51 pkg 1.74 Equate 50 pkg: 1.27 Target 42 pkg: 1.19

I could break it down on here, since each package seems to have a different quantity, the price per wipe but yaawwwwwnnnn.

Instead, I did that behind the scene and can say Charmin, while stretching the most for no apparent reason, is the most expensive. Equate is the cheapest but also the poorest quality. While I’m all about saving the most, there has to be a level of value too and Equate does not have it. Of course, you may be really sick in the head and enjoy picking pieces of wipes out of a butt, so if that’s the case then Equate is for you. Otherwise, skip it.

The other three brands would come down to splitting pennies. Cottonelle is a good brand, and when combined with a coupon, is only 50 cents more than a store brand. But can you deal with getting poop on such cute, adorable little puppies like this….

I dunno y’all, it’s a tough call. But I’ve managed to push through it and smear those pups with toddler crap.

The Scott brand is of good quality, just short on coverage for my personal taste but good for the wipe-and-flick style. Again, it is just as cheap as a store brand when combined with a coupon.

Overall, the Target brand is going to get my recommendation. You get good coverage, it doesn’t tear easily and is the lowest price without hassling with a coupon. But for those unlucky readers who do not have Super Targets (bless your heart) then Cottonelle and Scott come in a close second.

There you have it, the word on flushable butt wipes from a butt wiping connoisseur. Now you can claim to have the butt-wiping smarts real good too!