Suburban Reviews

Let me just spill the details quickly and get it over with.

I have a severe sweating problem.  In my pit region.   And I’m not referring to any perspiring or glistening problem.  I’m talking about SWEAT. 

There, I said it.

While pregnant, my problem got worse, much worse.  Like change-my-shirt-three-times-a-day-because-of-icky-pit-stains worse. No need to fear, however, I have the problem under control.   Although this is something I probably should have discussed with a medical doctor, I was too embarrassed.  (Funny how I’m sharing my sweathogedness with the entire internet.)

Anyway, I saw those commercials for Secret Clinical Deodorant and decided to give it a try.  It is marketed as “prescription strength” deodorant.  The directions stated that it should be applied at night, before bed.  It even said that it wasn’t necessary to reapply in the morning, even after showering.  I was incredibly skeptical, but I was surprised by the results.  Instead of sweating buckets, my pits stayed dry for the whole day.  On particularly hot days, or should I say, days that I actually left the house and endured the heat, I did sweat.  However, it wasn’t in copious amounts that caused the need for frequent shirt changes.

The only problem I had with this deodorant was that I had trouble remembering to put the stuff on every night.  After years and years of applying deodorant in the morning after my shower, it was an adjustment to remember it before bed.

Secret Clinical Deodorant is easy to find at most drugstores, grocery, and discount stores.  In my very unscientific review of prices, I found it priced between $7 and $8.50.

I highly recommend this product to all other sweathogs, like me.  Can I get a “hell ya” from all my sweaty peeps!?

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I bought the conditioner today.

*Sigh*

All your fault guys, all your fault!

I am 28, and seem to be going through a mid-life crisis of the mane. I’m just not happy with what I’ve got anymore, and find myself looking at other women’s hair with envy, wishing my own could be as shiny and soft. I’ve tried seeing a professional for my problem, and she was great, but the cost of the cut and highlights was a little more than my budget allows for right now. With recoloring out of my reach, I’ve focused on just getting myself properly conditioned, and my last experiment was a failure. And my old standby conditioner, Pantene? I admit it, I’m bored with it. It’s just not satisfying me like it used to. The 7 year itch has kicked in 5 years early.

I am not trying to excuse my actions, but I just thought I should explain why it happened. With my self-esteem so low, and my conditioner giving me so little, surely you can understand why I was tempted to stray?

It wouldn’t have even happened if that damn stylist hadn’t introduced us. I was in the chair minding my own business, and she started rubbing something into my hair, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The Smell. Oh my gosh, the smell. Like the smell of a good cologne can knock a woman senseless, this conditioner left my pulse racing and my mouth dry, and it was all I could do to stutter out the question. What is that??? She tells me-

Healthy Sexy Hair Pumpkin Potion Leave In Conditioner by Sexy Hair Concepts

As she massaged this stuff into my hair, the comb began to glide through effortlessly, and I was immersed in the smell of pumpkin and spices. It immediately put me at ease, and I felt as though we’d known each other forever. I wanted her to use more, but it was to be just the briefest of encounters, and she put the bottle away. As my hair dried, the smell remained, and my hair was left softer than I’ve felt it in ages. Ahhhhh, satisfaction.

2 hours later I still am wrapped in the smell, and cannot get it out of my head. I want to go back. I am telling myself the $17 price tag is too high, it’s not worth starting a relationship I am in no shape to continue. It’s only sold in salons, so obviously we are worlds apart, and there’s just no way it could work between us. Yet I find myself thinking, next Friday is payday, and I could steal away briefly, and just this once indulge myself. I am a woman, and I have needs! But is it really worth it? Should I take the plunge? Will I hate myself in the morning for even considering this?

Really, what would you do?

What is it about ‘natural’ products that makes us want to take things we would normally eat and slather them all over our skin and hair? Milk, honey, apples, and oranges all make regular appearances in the shampoo lineup. Grapefruit, avocado, apricot and oatmeal for face masks, peppermint for feet. Fruit salad anyone?

I admit I am just as susceptible to this marketing ploy, and was intrigued when I saw a new conditioner on the shelf  at Winn-Dixie this past week. The Freeman Seakelp Moisture Conditioner label  says it contains sea kelp and guava extracts, and would  “nourish, fortify, and strengthen hair with this nurturing  marine-based mix of  essential vitamins and minerals”.  Sounds promising right?

The first thing I noticed when I poured the conditioner into my hand was how thin it was. Runny would probably be a better word really. I color my hair and have to use moisturizing conditioners,  and most of them tend to be pretty thick. Whether they need to be, or because thats just how they are is anyone’s guess. But this stuff was really, really runny for a conditioner.  It was also a pearly white color and looked just like every other conditioner out there. I know with sea kelp extract I shouldn’t have expected big green leaves or anything, but somehow I expected more than what looked like watered down White Rain.

The next thing was the smell. OMG, the smell. I understand now why they advertised the ’sea kelp’ and ‘marine’ part so heavily. This stuff was VERY salty smelling. I thought sea kelp and guava was a strange combination, I quickly realized the guava was meant to tone down the saltiness.

Despite all this I put it in, let it sit a few minutes and rinsed. I knew as soon as I started towel-drying my hair this was not a success.  You can tell well conditioned hair even when it’s wet, and my hair felt like I hadn’t used anything. It didn’t feel completely dried out later, but it felt like I hadn’t used nearly as much conditioner as usual, and my hair had that slightly frizzy, slightly crunchy feel a good conditioner is meant to combat. It also smelled funky, like I’d spent the day at the beach and threw on a dollar store body spray overtop of it.

If you want to look and smell like you just came off vacation from the beach, this might work for you. For everyday, ehh, not so much. There is a Try Me Free offer on it though, and it can be found at most grocers and discount stores for $3.99.